It was always an uneasy, nervous moment when someone was getting ‘disciplined’ at school. There the guy would be standing, looking crookedly over his shoulder. Sometimes he would be standing on his toes, his behind shaking uncontrollably. Right behind him would be the teacher, looking menacing with his stick. There could be a long wait before the stick came flying down. When it did, it was loud. Pooow! Then the show followed immediately. The guy would jump up, his hands rubbing his behind profusely. He was making all sorts of faces, and awkward body postures. The teacher respected this act, and allowed the guy to recollect himself. Eventually, the guy did recollect himself and went back for another. Pooow! Pooow!
We call it discipline. All the primary schools and high schools I knew did it. Most teachers did it. Parents usually supported it. In fact, sometimes they would connive with teachers. “Vele umkatse mbijana,” they would say (Definitely give him a hiding). Only in a few cases did parents take exception to their children getting disciplined in school. Otherwise, the teachers became the sole custodians of the school disciplinary trade. With this much power, each teacher has devised his/her own method.
Methods are not all that differentiate them. Whether they pinch, slap, use a stick or a duster – they all fall into different characters. From my experience, I have found seven variations. From the dreaded Mercenary to the docile Angel, they are all etched in our school memories, and our bodies. Here are their descriptions…
1. The Mercenary
The Mercenary is the deadliest of all. In fact, other disciplinarian teachers will forward you to him. Every student fears him. I remember once when one called me, and I began shaking, my knees almost buckling. I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I already anticipated the worst. It didn’t matter that he had called me by last name. “Would you pick up that paper and throw it in the trash?” he said. I was so relieved, but I could barely walk straight. The Mercenary usually doesn’t hit students too often. It’s easy to understand: if you saw him doing it, you’d be thankful that he didn’t do it more frequently.
2. The Cheeky One
No offense intended, but the Cheeky One tends to be a female teacher. She will easily flip the switch and hit you while you’re still smiling. The beating is usually accompanied by an emphatic tirade. Usually, her shouting will get you first, by which time your heart has begun racing. And then follows the sting. Wham! Wham! The Cheeky One tends to hit more often, and her class tends to be a roller coaster of supreme fun and sudden fear.
3. The Noble One
This is the most diplomatic one. He will sit there, explaining why you’re getting it. You may be getting just two strokes, but it may take what seems like hours. The problem is in how calm he is, exhibiting no anger at all. That is the problem, because the sting is the exact opposite. Usually, once the student gets a stroke for the first time, he seems to have this very surprised face, as if to say “Ah ah kanti uyatshaya okweqiniso so!? Wena ukhuluma kamnandi so?” (Wow! So you really can hit despite that gentle voice of yours?). That feeling of surprise then gives way to pain. Angry pain.
4. The Softie
Again this one tends to be a female teacher. She is the funniest because she usually overestimates the sting of her discipline. She is usually friendly with students, but will mete out some discipline regularly. When action calls, she will pretend to be angry for a minute. And then the face of the plastic ruler will come gliding onto your open palm. The only reason you do not laugh is out of respect. The risk with the Softie is that she likes to refer people to the Mercenary. That is no funny matter.
5. The Surprise
The Surprise beats less frequently, but she has a secret weapon: nobody sees it coming. In male teachers, it’s usually a quiet, shy guy who does not talk a lot. In female teachers, it’s usually a small, quiet teacher. Many student teachers also fall in this category. The student getting disciplined usually takes the situation lightly, until the stick lands on the hand, or the calves, or the buttocks. A feeling of betrayal suddenly sweeps through the student. The teacher they had always considered friendly or timid turns out to be well-versed in the art of pain infliction. Unsurprisingly, the Surprise is usually hated by half the school.
6. The Joker
This one is the most annoying of all. This teacher simply loves hitting students, and makes no effort to hide it. He is seldom angry – even the student being disciplined is usually in a good mood. Therefore, to observers, and the participants, the whole situation usually looks light-hearted and not really serious. That is until the student walks away and realizes that it wasn’t a comedic act. It was actually a discipline session. That is not the worst. The worst is that this will happen over and over again, played out in the same manner. After a few years, the student finally realizes that she hates that teacher. And the Joker doesn’t care.
7. The Angel
The Angel never hits anybody. In fact, even though the Angel will threaten to refer a student to the Mercenary, she will not do it. While having the Angel is a relief for many, her classes may get out of hand if they have the worst-behaved students. You can only sit in your chair, wishing she could just snap and let loose a mammoth slap on the misbehaving student’s arrogant face. Unfortunately, that never happens. Once in a while, the Mercenary will walk in on the misbehaving student, and justice will be served.
Many of us will remember these characters. They have different faces and names. They use different weapons. They teach different subjects. We love some, and love to hate some. But these are the men and women who were entrusted with our childhoods by our parents. They gave our parents a hand, and they gave us a hand too. Our parents took the gentler hand, and we took the one carrying a stick.
What were your experiences?
In memory of Mr Munyanyiwa, High School Mathematics Teacher
-Lesley
Based on my personal experience in the UK during the 1970’s you left out category eight – the bitch, who will catch you doing something, blow it out of proportion to make you scared of the consequences and then give you the option of being punished by her, which turns out to be severe and humiliating. This happened to me when I was 11 and I will never forget the look of sheer pleasure on my lady teacher’s face as she made me take down my trousers and underpants before whapping my poor fat little bare bum with a plimsoll. Unfortunately I had a huge disgraceful toilet accident and she rubbed my nose in what I had done. At the end she told me that if I complained she would tell all the girls in the school about me pooping myself. Years later I still remember being fearful every time I saw her that she would publicize my smelly indiscretion. From her point of view it worked at two levels – she created a timid obedient lackie of a pupil and of course, she enjoyed exercising control over me.
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Percy, although you told this in a funny way, it was actually a sad read. Poor you!
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Maybe there are four kinds of school disciplinarians:
1. pacifist-wants to teach student
to understand common defense and mutual protection of law without
any regard for moral dishonesty associated with religious boasts of justification for school punishment of children, and particularly adolescent students,
as contradictory to welcoming students with compulsory attendance laws or respecting choice in older ones to begin to
prepare to be happy men or women for a lifetime;
2) the pervert, who has emotional
disorders about harassment to be
pleased at imagined suffering of
personal regret projected to students as subordinates and
surrogates through physical discomfort and even extreme pain
which is miscarried as legal shielded assault, to model students particularly sexually
developing females as “whipping ladies” whether as an authorized
fellow student or an improper staff person;
3) the pragmatist, who sincerely
believes that shown in a calm tone, the discipline by paddling or comparative method will make the student eventually realize the
useless of his or her incorrect conduct and will choose to do better, but overestimates that most are not competent to choose
with effective responsibility or
sense of admiration and esteem of
privileged adult leaders;
4) provocateurs, bullies or kinds of wolves in sheep clothing who
just desire to hurt people out of
their own lust of power; synonym=
pride puff, haughty, maybe with unnatural affection; they do not
genuinely like or want to help young people grow as decent humans.
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You’re welcome. Thank you for checking out my blog, and don’t forget to subscribe!
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I like yr style of writing Nyirenda, great flow of words.Thank you for reminding us of the hey days,
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